The Cape has long been known as a welcoming bastion of hospitality, though in earlier times this warm-hearted openness was reserved exclusively for humans. These days, hearts and doors are flung-open just as enthusiastically to dogs, a development I have always welcomed, ever since my love affair with dachshunds began three decades ago.
During the recent holiday frenzy in and around the Mother City, however, it became strikingly apparent that more and more people now regard it as their democratic right to drag their dogs along to coffee shops, bars and restaurants. The owners of such public establishments dutifully play along and lists of “dog-friendly” eateries are promoted far and wide. And while this embrace of man’s best four-legged friend may be read as evidence of a compassionate, animal-loving heart, the presence of dogs in and around places where people eat can prove something of an obstacle and irritant, even for loyal admirers of canis domesticus.
Yes, many dogs display better character traits than a great many people. Yet, I have never encountered a human who — like the earnest bulldog I recently observed in a restaurant in the Cape’s southern suburbs — licked his own testicles and bagpipe with lusty grunts and groans while I was attempting to eat a bacon-and-cheese omelette. As far as thorough research goes, such public conduct has not even been recorded among men in any of the southern states of America that voted for Donald Trump.
But because it is a dog, poor Mutt is permitted to tickle his own corn in a public dining space, in full view of an innocent omelette-eater. Worse still, the two owners of the ball-licking canine look on with carefree, radiant love at their old bruiser as he successfully puts the other diners off their meals.
On another occasion, a sniffing Maltese poodle brushed against the ankles of my dining companion and me while we were tucking into scones and strawberry jam somewhere outside Hermanus. Being dog lovers, we were not particularly bothered, despite the fact that Maltese are widely regarded as the cross-dressers of the canine world.
Only two days after our scone-session the lower portion of one of my legs was mottled with flea bites, a fate that also befell said dining companion, as I discovered in due course.
Worst of all, though, is the dog in the restaurant lying on its belly and paws next to its owner’s table, staring at you while you are in the process of tackling a juicy bacon-and-cheese burger. Although that labrador or Scottish terrier doubtless enjoys the finest selected dog food at home, its life’s dream consists of acquiring just such a gourmet burger. The longing, passion and hopeful gaze in the labrador’s soft, pleading, foolish eyes eventually give the burger a faintly off smell. When the drool begins to drip from the mouth, slow and unrestrained, the appetite evaporates and the unfinished meal is pushed aside with a guilty broken heart, for the poor dog.
From experience, then, because he or she is the heart of any home, I’ll have it that this is where the animal belongs.
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Completely with you there – and can sometimes apply to misbehaving children too !