Popping a Cork on Ch?+¦-ú??teau Nkandla


President Jacob Zuma at the opening of his private cellar.

The wine business has not missed the largesse fall-out of President Jacob Zuma’s controversial R248m Nkandla compound. According to inside sources a state-of-the art wine cellar is housed in the compound boasting cases of wine from Bordeaux, Burgundy, the Napa Valley and Stellenbosch, as well as hundreds of bottles of vintage Champagne.

Nkandla catering manager Jean-Luc Mkhiza would not be drawn into disclosing the value of the Nkandla wine collection, but said the cellar covered 167m?+¦-+?+++¦ – almost twice the size of one of the guest toilets. ?+¦?+º?+¦The President’s third wife designed the cellar, so it is all nice and European. No Afro chic here, except for the set of leopard print Platter Wine Guides donated by Wines of South Africa,?+¦?+º?+æ said Mkhiza. ?+¦?+º?+¦We have Miele coolers, Oregon pine floors and even a billiard table in the cellar. To enjoy the wine, the complete set of Riedel Sommelier wine glasses has been procured, while a Bang&Olufsen sound system supplies the vibes when the wine is being enjoyed at a table.?+¦?+º?+æ

?+¦-+?+¡Although the President is not known for his love of wine, he will fill a glass from time to time. ?+¦-+?+¡?+¦?+º?+¦Especially when Cyril or Tokyo visit, the wine is opened and the glasses polished,?+¦?+º?+æ said Mkhiza. ?+¦?+º?+¦Cyril knows his wine and likes the reds from Graves, meatier Burgundies such as the Cortons and adores South African blends from the Helderberg. Tokyo is the educator, informing the President about how wine is made and the world’s wine regions. Here the President learns a lot just the other evening he correctly identified Spain on the world map without any clues!?+¦?+º?+æ

Mrs Zuma, the number of which she wishes to remain a secret, said the wine cellar is by far the most romantic place in Nkandla. ?+¦?+º?+¦No children playing fighting sticks, no squabbles between the wives over who is going to use the porridge pot first and no poking around by the sangoma. Just peace and quiet nothing but the hum of the Champagne cooler and the romantic deep breathing of my 100% Zulu Boy.?+¦?+º?+æ

She says President Zuma also recognized the romance of the cellar. ?+¦?+º?+¦We will go down there together and he will put on some Percy Sledge music, open a bottle of Shiraz preferably a pre-2000 vintage from the Rh?+¦-ú?+¦+¦ne,?+¦?+º?+æ she said. ?+¦?+º?+¦The wine loosens us up nicely. And we talk openly about family matters such as how cute his illegitimate kids actually are and we wonder whether Zapiro might actually be a nice guy if he was not being abused by all the white imperialists who don’t understand our culture.

?+¦?+º?+¦Then he will pick me up and if his back doesn’t give in, my man will carry me to the billiard table. All you see is leopard skins flying, although like any good Zulu bride, I keep my tekkies on and my glass full.?+¦?+º?+æ

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