No More Lonely Rh?+¦???+¦?+¦????ne Nights

WineGoggle stumbled upon a famous young man in Town preparing for a bachelor’s party.

WineGoggle: Your fondness for wine is not well-known?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-+?-+
Prince Wills: Thank heavens there’s one aspect of my life the media has not delved into! Although the tabloids are not known for their interest in publishing a chap’s preference for Rh?+¦???+¦?+¦????ne to Bordeaux. Come to think of it most tabloid scribes would think a Rh?+¦???+¦?+¦????ne is journalese for “I tapped the wrong phone.”


WG: So how deep does this fondness run?
Prince Wills: Well, I wouldn’t say I am more partial to a good Chapoutier than I am to Kate, but I do like wine more than I like grandma’s corgis and Camilla’s hairstyle. Have you seen the one she is preparing for the wedding? It looks like that of a pop singer-fellow when those vinyl records were still around.
WG: How often do you drink wine?
Prince Wills: Flying helicopters for a living is not conducive to taking too keen an interest in the joys of the vine, so I can’t really get mullered with my friends or Harry anymore. But at University I used to enjoy a good drink as much as the next chap. A few pints of lager after polo. A bottle of Gicondas with a frightfully hot curry. And then a spot of Armagnac before retiring and having a snog with Kate. Whilst at university I think I actually threw-up once from a bit of excess and I was very surprised. I phoned Papa and asked whether royals actually do this sort of thing ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+¦ throwing-up, that is – and he said only if we really must or after being interviewed by Piers Morgan.
WG: You seem to enjoy Rh?+¦???+¦?+¦????ne wines.
Prince Wills: A fellow tends to start liking wines that are accessible, which the Rh?+¦???+¦?+¦????ne stuff is, and I just sort of continued enjoying these. The fragrance is most appealing, especially St Joseph as I believe a splash of viognier gives the syrah a delectable lushness. But the syrahs from the colonies are not bad either. Australia has turned out some passable grog ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+¦ Harry likes these because the alcohol is high and he can snort the stuff to get a bit of an extra whack. South Africa also makes some pleasant wines from syrah. Actually, I prefer the South African stuff as it is less baked than Australia and maintains a substantial amount of life-affirming freshness. Jerry Clarkson had some nasty words about South African wine that caused a frightful stir, and quite rightly so. He is not being knighted on my watch, I’ll tell you that.
WG: Can you tell me about the wines in the Palace’s cellar?
Prince Wills: Jancis sees to that, and she seems to have a soft spot for the French. Come to think of it, she is looking more like a Parisian nanny each day so I would not be surprised if she plans to jump ship upon retiring and go and live with the Frogs. Papa said he wants to see her in a French chambermaids outfit sometime, he’s such a devil. Anyway, the cellar has a few thousand bottles of the normal stuff: Lafite, Margeaux, Mouton, Roman+¬e Conti, Angelus plus a real spiffing collection of champers. I am not really too keen on champers ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+¦ when Harry and I were young we once stole a few magnums of Pol Roger 1982 and drank it mixed with orange juice from pewter jugs. We got mullered, totally insane, ending up urinating in a bear-skin hat Harry stole from a mounted guard. Always associated champagne with reckless behaviour, manner-less toilet habits and wet dreams.
WG: Does the rest of the family enjoy wine?
Prince Wills: When Grandma and Aunt Margaret were around, liquor was basically considered a food group in the house. Grandma loved Corton Charlemagne as it would not stain her corset, while Margaret was pure Bordeaux Left Bank. Grandma and Grandpa would have the odd sip, but secretly harboured a love of German wines which is still not all that PC. (As that John Cleese fellow said: ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+ëDon’t mention the war’!”). But yes, over breakfast grandma loved Bollinger with her kippers, while lunches were served with Chablis or White Rioja, the red stuff coming out at dinner. Papa is quite keen on the biodynamic side of winemaking and is considering buying a small ch?+¦???+¦?+¦-ú?+¦+¬teau to keep himself busy while Camilla is at the hairdresser.
WG: And Kate?
Prince Wills: An awfully good sport when a bottle of wine is on our table, although she is a bit of a cocktail girl. Her friends are all cocktail girls drinking Bombay Sapphire martinis and paw-paw daiquiris. Harry enjoys this as these drinks make the girls tight quickly ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+¦ my brother is a bit of a lech, you know?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-+?-+.
WG: Any indication on the wine to be served at the wedding?
Prince Wills: I have not had much time to think about it, quite frankly as I have had to land a few helicopters, get a suit tailored and help Harry select the bridesmaids. But I believe there will be some Pol Roger around instead of the usual Bollinger which was served at Papa and Mum’s wedding. I will be having a word with Service to try and get a bottle of Condrieu at my table, to steady the nerves, but this cannot be assured. Camilla and Harry are both donning hip-flasks, so a chap can always take a quick swig when no-one is looking. But just what are the chances of that?

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