1. A gin martini can never be too cold or too dry.
2. Don’t buy wine to resell it. Buy out of love, and that love will grow to the extent that you’ll never want to let it go. And neither should you.
3. Read everything on wine written by Andrew Jefford and Terry Theise. They give worth, credence and respect to your obsession. And make you feel all the wiser and the better for harbouring it.
4. Never kiss a girl with the smell of brandy-and-Coke on her breath unless you want your morals tested and a beating-up from her girlfriend.
5. Pay no heed to the prescriptiveness of food-and-wine pairings. They are only there to stifle imagination and to keep one from the path of adventure and discovery.
6. Never trust any wine advice from a vegan or vegetarian, for they cannot know what true taste is.
7. A whisky requiring more than two ice-cubes in a double-tot pour can lead to blindness.
8. Never lap Vintage Port from the belly-button of a Portuguese virgin without asking her permission first.
9. A fine Havana cigar makes any alcohol beverage taste and smell better.
10. Never argue with a French sommelier until you have whacked him to the floor first. A true gentleman disagrees from the moral high-ground only.
11. Do not confront a host who has served you box-wine from a decanter. But do pee on his toilet seat on your way out.
12. There can never be enough Champagne, ever.
What are your rules? Comments welcome.
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All the problems of the world in one hand – and a glass of chenin in the other – That’s Better!!!
All the problems of the world in one hand – and a glass of chenin in the other – That’s Better!!!
Actually , these are also the 12 rules for living.