Rednecks Honour Trump with MAGA Vino

When it comes to opportunism and marketing in the world of wine, no prize for giving top kudos to the Americans. President Donald Trump has hardly had time to acquaint Melania with the sleeping arrangements in the White House, and already a California winery has rushed to the fore with an offering of wines made to appeal to wine drinkers of Republican Trump supporting ilk. And, possibly, introduce a new generation to the juice of the fermented grape which they deem unfashionable, old school and out of synch with the current red-blooded heartbeat of America.

Where one would expect Trump supporters to prefer moonshine and rotgut rye whiskey distilled by toothless Appalachian families resulting from inter-generational in-breeding, the Republican Red Winery in the Santa Lucia Highlands in California’s Monterey County has rushed to the fore with a range of wines honouring the world that Trump espouses.

It appears to be a proper business, by the way, with a smart website offering instant shipments, thorough tasting notes and a summary of the press-coverage bestowed on Republican Red Winery, including from the legacy media.

As to the wines, first up is the 45+47 Pinot Noir, referring to Trump’s position in the line-up of American presidents. As to the tasting notes, well, these provide for reading of entertainment value that even the most creative wine scribe would not be able to replicate:

“Our ’45+47′ Pinot Noir, is a distinguished tribute celebrating Donald Trump as both the 45th and 47th President. This exceptional Pinot Noir embodies the boldness and charisma of its namesake, delivering a rich, complex flavour profile that’s as captivating as the man himself. Grown in the prestigious vineyards of the Santa Lucia Highlands, this wine boasts layers of flavours, with a smooth finish that lingers like a memorable speech. Whether you’re toasting to past victories or future triumphs, ’45+47′ Pinot Noir is the perfect companion for those who believe in making America great again – one glass at a time.”

Only in America. Give me a creative South African wine-scribe who can top that.

Onto the next wine, and I present you with Republican Red Winery’s Cabernet Sauvignon, this made from fruit in Paso Robles and charmingly named 2nd Amendment Cabernet Sauvignon after the value Trump’s party holds most dear, namely the one to bear arms. This is guns and stuff. The wine comes with another note advocating a call to wine and arms, which could be a lethal combination. In any event, this reads:

“Show your support for the Second Amendment with our ‘2nd Amendment’ Special Edition Cabernet Sauvignon from Republican Red Winery. This bold and robust wine not only delights the palate but also celebrates the fundamental right to bear arms. With flavours as strong and uncompromising as the principles it represents, this Cabernet Sauvignon is perfect for those who cherish their freedoms. The grapes were expertly fermented at moderate temperatures and then aged in French oak barrels, enhancing the wine’s depth and ensuring a perfect balance of fruit and tannins. Raise a glass to liberty and enjoy this exceptional wine that stands as a testament to American values.”

Whether the Red Republican Winery offers a box of .45 Magnum cartridges with every two cases ordered is not yet known, but do not be surprised.

My personal favourite is this winery’s energetically named white, namely the Drain the Swamp Chardonnay. This alludes to the term Trump and co. frequently used in campaigning for his first tenure where he aimed to depoliticise Washington DC by removing bureaucratic slime from a city which, physically, is actually a low-lying, humid and damp swamp.

How fun to draft a tasting-note thus:

“Make a bold statement with our ‘Drain the Swamp’ Special Edition Chardonnay. Crafted to champion accountability in politics, this wine is a perfect way to express your support for meaningful change. Raise a glass to progress and the power of making a difference. Produced from grapes grown in the esteemed Santa Lucia Highlands, this Chardonnay showcases remarkable complexity developed through a long growing season on well-drained slopes. Cheers to a brighter future with every sip!”

And last but not least, check out the Golden Age of America Sparkling Wine “that Toasts Triumph and Unity”. Here the tasting-notes read more like a manifesto, the winery’s marketing department now obviously in fully aroused throttle:

Commemorating the Victory: Our limited-editionGolden Age Cuveé is a sparkling wine that commemorates President Trump’s glorious victory at a pivotal moment in American history. Let’s raise a glass and welcome the Golden Age of America.

Celebrating the Red Wave: Pay tribute to the Republican Party’s remarkable commitment and unity that secured control of the Presidency, House, Senate, and Supreme Court.

Steadfast Commitment: Let each sparking sip remind us to come together and stay vigilant to pass laws and make rulings while the getting is good.  Now is the time to secure a brighter future for generations to come.

Pop the cork, stand proud, and join us in ushering in the Golden Age of America.  Cheers to victory, solidarity, and knowing that the best is yet to come.

On the website, Republican Red Winery also proudly markets itself as “Made in USA”, “Family Owned” and “100% Woke Free”.

Only in, well, yes, that place.