Melania Trump on Juice, Meat and Men

Melania Trump will join her husband Donald as the new residents of the White House on 20 January 2017. As custom wants, First Lady Melania will be responsible for selecting the wines for formal lunches, dinners and events in one of the world’s most elite abodes. WineGoggle got the exclusive wine interview. 

WineGoggle: Congratulations from South Africa. It must be a dream come true.

Melania Trump: Thank you. And by dream come true you are obviously referring to the from underwear-model to First Lady scenario. You naughty boy.

WG: Not in the least. But if there are some pictures I missed…..

Melania: Down boy. Is this story about wine or the thing Donald likes grabbing?

WG: I am so glad you mentioned wine first.

Melania: I always do. At least one Trump should not talk about pussy all the time.

WG: Mr Trump does not drink. But you are known to partake in a glass now and again. Is there anything specific you prefer?

Melania: Look, I’m not going to try and be all coy and clever-sounding and say I, like, really love skin-fermented Assyrtiko from Heraklion or a seven-way blend of red varieties growing in the desserts of Priorat. That’s what Hillary would say.

Me? Give me Champagne. I believe in letting people know what I love to drink, and why. Dom Perignon 1992 is a great vintage, my favourite after Salon 2002. I love the sparkle it reflects from my eyes. The way I already taste the Champagne by running my tongue along the edge of the glass. How the wine enters me, taut and muscular, thrusting with flavour and then explodes when I swallow it greedily to the last drop. That is Champagne.

WG: Yes, there is some enthusiasm there. What about food wines?

Melania: Chablis on the white side. We do a lot of oysters and caviar, and most people – especially from Donald’s side of the family – reckon this kind of food needs Champagne. But Chablis is a better match, far better. The fizz of Champagne sends the sensitive briny maritime flavours of oysters all over your palate, diluting the moist, tender flesh of the oyster, wet from the sea. Chablis has this stony, calcerous taste and bracing austerity that is a far better match for the tender, lip-like meat of a blue point oyster. When I taste a good oyster, I taste myself.

WG: Meat is a popular item on the Trump table, as – said with respect – Donald does not seem like the archetypal vegetarian.

Melanie: This is correct, and I love meat like the rest of them. We eat a lot of rare beef from Omaha. I am very fussy when it comes to meat. Omaha beef fillet is the best. But before buying it, I like to slowly put my fingers around the fillet and stroke it, gently, from end-to-end to ensure that the meat’s fibres show the correct levels of ripeness. It is cooked whole over hot Maplewood and cut at the table, juices flowing. Then I will drink a Bordeaux, Left Bank, as I am crazy about the firm, gravel and pine-tree notes in a wine from St. Estéphe or a bright-fruited Margaux.

WG: No American Cabernets?

Melania: To be honest, I am going to be forced to get myself around Napa, but the wines I have experienced are too big for me. I feel uncomfortable and as if I am too tight for them. Caymus, Harlan, Screaming Eagle…..over-extracted, excessive plushness. There is nothing wrong with being well-hung, but those Californians need to pick earlier. I will just have to learn more about Napa as Donald will expect me to support American wine.

Donald and Melania Trump. Power to the people.
Donald and Melania Trump. Power to the people.

WG: Can you describe a few wines for a White House lunch?

Melania: Obama tried to be all politically correct by drinking some sparkling wine from that place where Nelson Mandela comes from, but I am determined to select wines on grounds of how interesting they are and how they show the diversity we will embrace in the White House – although Mexican Cabernet Franc might have to wait.

A welcome drink will be an iced Champagne: Pol Roger, Salon or Krug. For the first course, a Chablis from Fourchaume – great vineyard – and with the meat a Pichon-Longueville from the 1990s or a firm Burgundy, like Chambertin. For dessert it will be Port. I prefer tawny to vintage, so a colheita from a fine year will do the trick.

WG: Anything from your land of birth?

Melania: Slovenian wines are improving, believe me. The Goriška brda in the Primorska region makes fantastic whites from the Rebula grape, especially since they have cleaned-up vinification and moved away from the oxidative styles of earlier. It is a great, fresh white in the style of Alvarinho. I drink it so fast on the yacht that the wine runs down my face and neck and down my whole body. I the collect the rivulets of wine on my finger and taste it, wine from my own flesh.

On the red side, Goriška brda also makes blends from Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot that are very, very good. Small barriques are used for maturation instead of the large old vats my grandfather used. wines are focussed, blending the velvety fruit-forward notes of Merlot, with the visceral sinewy muscle of Cabernet.

WG: We have good wines in South Africa. Tried any?

Melania: O Mandela was so cute! I’d love to try some of your wines. I heard Chardonnays were great, and you even have a grape called Pinotage that you guys made yourself. That is so cool. Like not only making not your own wine, but own grape. No wonder Elon Musk is so smart.

WG: We look forward to seeing you and President Trump here in the near future, then?

Melania: Absolutely. I stand by my man. Except at the mineral water counter. Then he’s on his own. Show me the way to the next wine bar. In Africa? Can’t wait.

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