A quaint Afrikaans-language saying is loosely translated as “don’t scratch the balls of the lion”. Well stuff that. My balls are bigger and I’ll scratch whose I want to. Because my name is Klipdrift. Klipdrift brandy.
All started with our South African minister of health, Aaron Motsoaledi, Guy wants to outlaw the banning of alcohol advertising. Pussy. He reckons South Africans have a drinking problem. Sees the public’s human right to enjoy free access to alcohol as a threat to society. Bring on the Great Dictator! Probably never had a good dop in his life. Party Pooper Central.
Why is the native causing so much trouble? His plans to ban alcohol advertising and promotion are receiving loads of publicity. Editorial articles. Radio chat shows. Liberals, bleeding hearts, playing along it seems.
But this week past we at Klipdrift threw Aaron and those concerned-about-alcohol a real curve-ball. See how he likes this. ?+¦-+???+¦-ú?-¦?+¦-ú?+¦+ëCause Klipdrift has just become the official brandy sponsor of the Springbok rugby team.
Announced it by means of full-page advertisement in the newspapers, nogal! Ban that, A-Ron.
What a coup! Klippies now a partner to the Springboks. Check out the words used by the Klipdrift spokesperson in announcing the sponsorship: “Rugby is a powerfully unifying force in this country. It touches us all and binds us as a nation. Both our own brand and Springbok rugby share a proudly South African heritage. They embrace optimism and are entrenched in the public consciousness. Both have shown the ability to transcend barriers of culture, outlook and demographics in bringing South Africans together. “We consider it a privilege to welcome the Springboks into the Klipdrift family. We value our relationship and intend to nurture it with the greatest respect.”
Wow! Wipe away those tears. Cross our hearts and hope to braai. All South Africans are brought together by Klipdrift 43% Brandy. Yee-ha!
It is just great to promote Klipdrift brandy to all rugby-followers. Start with the guys on the stands. Perhaps said guys are contemplating another double Klippies and Coke, wondering if they should go for in light of the driving regulations and all that. Well, stuff it. Klippies is mos part of the Springbok rugby culture. Officially. So let’s go for it.
But look, we are not encouraging kids to drink. Well, not until they are 18 in any case.
Kids, we know, look up to rugby players and the Springboks. Especially during those sensitive teenage years. They wear the same headgear as Victor Matfield. Schalk’s highlights. Andries Bekker’s strapping. They idolise the Boks. Posters on the wall.
But if they are now encouraged to have a underage-dop of Klipdrift just because we are part of the Springboks, it is not Klipdrift’s fault, is it?
Yes, rugby is an athletic sport. Played by super athletes. Promoting health. And if we and our brandy can sneak onto this turf, how cool is that! Clever. Pass me a USN Protein Shake with double Klippies. Because we will do whatever it takes to promote you ouks to drink Klipdrift and to drink more. Because it brings us all together, as the press release said.
We are all adults. Able to take responsible decisions. For society’s greater good.
If you can’t see this, you don’t have the balls.